respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Randomize
