Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
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Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
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She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize