I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
