my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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