Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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