Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
