I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
