dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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