yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
