Pappa wants mamma naked
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
