no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize