bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize