is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
