How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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