All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize