theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
