So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
