fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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