Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
