woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
