Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
