I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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