I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
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Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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