You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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