i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize