3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
