I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
