Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
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