I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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