i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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