you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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