Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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