I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
