Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
so much tequila, so little girl.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
