mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
