Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
