Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
