we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
