whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
