Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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