every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
