Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The beer is more important than you right now.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
