He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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