I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So much rum. So many feels.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
