i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
