Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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