If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
