I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
