I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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