I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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