Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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