after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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