Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
