I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
