A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I pour the whiskey from now on
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize