I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize