I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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