So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
