when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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