I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
