he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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