I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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