Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
